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Literature Text
Where am I?
I called you out a hundred times
And you never came.
Who are you?
I see you before me each day
But you're long gone.
What they say?
I ask myself if I should listen
To the talking deaf.
When was this?
You speak of matters past
I do not recall.
Why do you?
You seek from me answers
I really can't find.
How can we?
That is what I ask myself
When I look to you.
I called you out a hundred times
And you never came.
Who are you?
I see you before me each day
But you're long gone.
What they say?
I ask myself if I should listen
To the talking deaf.
When was this?
You speak of matters past
I do not recall.
Why do you?
You seek from me answers
I really can't find.
How can we?
That is what I ask myself
When I look to you.
Literature
New meaning to 'one'
I want to sink myself into your muscle fibers,
lock my fingers around your bones
and just meld into you.
I want to
inhale life from your lungs
and listen to your heartbeat from within,
soak in everything you are.
Because this is just not close enough.
Literature
Poetry
It doesn't have to be long
It can be a thought
Right on the spot
It could be a song
It shouldn't be perfect
It shouldn't have to hide
As long as it's worth it
And as long as it came from inside
None will be identical
Which makes them so amazing
Even ones that are cynical
Don't deserve any hazing
Literature
It gets better right
Good days and bad days,
they all seem to run together
into the emptiness that is life
Sometimes I swear life is really
all about the contradictions
And all I keep asking is..
It get's better right?
Is it ever good enough?
When will I step back
And really look
At the pattern that is my life?
I might not have caused all
the moments that have left
those marks upon my soul
but the ones I did cause..
What was the reason?
We all choose how we
will approach life
We all choose the patterns
with which we respond
So again I ask myself...
It gets better right?
Sometimes I think
I just miss the whole
point...
Refocus and life
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You ever feel alone, even in a room of 100 people you know? I think we all have from time to time. This is a poem I wrote recently to express this feeling I've had lately torwards my loved ones.
Comments13
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactI enjoyed this piece quite a bit, and as it stands I think it has a great deal of potential. I do think there is quite a bit of room for improvement.
I'll offer a few suggestions, but of course you don't have to agree with my thoughts, I'm just sharing my perspective with you. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>You pose several lines with questions, and some of the questions feel a bit random and chaotic, even fragmented. And with each paragraph that follows, I keep looking for answers to those questions but not really finding them. I think maybe if you just add a little more thought to this, a little more of what inspired these questions, then attach more descriptive answers to these questions, the reader will get a better grasp of your motives with this piece.
Something that caught my eye:
"What they say?
I ask myself if I should listen
To the talking def."
Firstly, I think you meant what did they say? And then, to the talking def - did you mean deaf? I was just a bit confused by the wording here.
Again these are just my thoughts. I think this has a lot of potential to be a powerful, evocative piece but maybe if you just added a bit more substance it would be a more effectively communicated work. I hope this is of help to you. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="40" height="15" alt="
" title="Handshake"/>